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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lyssa's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
9:46 pm
So, I've never seen Willard. I put it on my Netflix, and today it came in the mail. So I'm sitting there with a beer, trying to watch it while reading some homework, when a movement catches my eye. I glance over and see my cat, think nothing of it, and return to my movie/beer/assignment. Then I see my cat run away, so I looked more closely and BAM! There is my rat, Mr. Bond, chilling in the living room.

He'd never escaped from his cage before, and I thought it was so insanely hilarious that he decided to make a break for it while I was watching Willard that I decided to let him stay and watch the movie with me. What a sense of humor my little guy has. It totally made my day!
Monday, September 6th, 2010
8:05 pm
I've been watching a lot of documentaries lately, and I get pretty annoyed when I hear people say, [in reference to the gay population] "I don't care what they do as long as they don't force it on me."

I thought this was a pretty legit comment most of my life, but hearing it several times in the last few hours, it dawned on me how much it really gets my blood going. What does it require to be perceived as a force? Being hit on? I get hit on by straight people all the time, and I find it flattering. So someone finds you attracted and they offer to buy you a drink. If it bothers you, you say, "No, thank you" and it's done with. No forcing.

Do they try to convince you that you would be better off being gay? Pass out pamphlets? Assemble in front of your homes, churches, and businesses to tell you how sinful/wrong/disgusting you are for being straight? No. It just doesn't happen. No gay person that I have ever met or heard of has ever attempted to force The Gay on the unsuspecting, innocent, doe-eyed straight folk.

I'm not saying that all LGBT people are beaming rays of sunshine with nothing but love and good intentions, I'm just observing the mass hypocrisy. It upsets me, especially since ever day that I go into work, little Miss Caroline tells me that I'd be happier with a man, and that I only need to have sex with a man to know that it'd be better than with a woman, and then points out a customer who might be looking my way and tells me to ask for his phone number. Do I hate all straight people because of her? Of course not. Why wouldn't a straight person in the same position (which I doubt actually happens) just take it with a grain of salt?

I think they just say that to hide behind their disgust, implying that I am an inherently inferior and unpleasant person. Guh. I'm just so annoyed with people today.
Sunday, August 22nd, 2010
11:52 pm
There's a polygamist living in my closet. That's either the intro to a great joke, or the start to a very cheesy porn. Either way, it's true.
Thursday, August 12th, 2010
11:24 pm
So there's a documentary that came out called 8: The Mormon Proposition, all about Mormons, gays, and Prop 8, right? Now that Prop 8 has been overturned, the demand for it finally decreased on Netflix, and I got my first chance to watch it.

Holy hell. They have footage from this protest at BYU circa 2007. I not only participated in this protest, but I helped plan the Q&A section. Immediately after all the media came out, some with my name on it, declaring I'm a lesbian, I came out to my parents. And they really hated that I'd tarnished the family name forever because of my participation.

I hope they never have a desire to see this film, cuz I'm totally in it. My dad might have a heart attack. Also, my roommate's ex gives an interview. How weird is that??
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
1:39 pm
An old co-worker and I were going to grab some Korean for lunch today, and we planned this like a week ago, but her baby got sick this morning. So now I have no one to eat Korean with, and I really don't want to go alone because this restaurant is not really busy, and I don't want to be the ONLY one in there. :(
Saturday, August 7th, 2010
7:35 pm
I am making homemade kimchi. Three different kinds! Unfortunately I didn't look through all of the recipes before leaving for the store and left out some ingredients, but I'm sure I'll enjoy my kimchi anyway. :D I'm soooo excited and very impatient. I might stay up until midnight, just so I can start the next step in the process. Boo on letting the cabbage soak six hours. :(!!

Can I just say how excited I am for Korea? I haven't even applied yet, and all I can think of is the yard sale I'll have to get rid of all my current stuff, and when I can get my cats to a vet for their checkups so they'll be healthy enough to travel. I'm so obsessed.... I don't know if I'll ever want to come back. For serious.
Friday, July 30th, 2010
10:28 pm
I have never heard so many euphemisms that made my stomach turn as I just heard on Blood on the Highway, haha. Bravo stoney321, you've made me laugh and gag all at once.
9:14 pm
My roommate made her first payment to me in over two months in the amount of $60. She still owes me $130. And yet today she received a HUGE box filled with books she ordered online. None of them are related to her profession- they are all about sex. The invoice states she spent $112.18 on books.

And yet I have $0.12 in my bank account because of her. I could kill her.
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
11:47 pm
Joanna, my rat, just died of what I can only assume was a respitory infection. She was holed up in her igloo for three days, which I just ignored because I was told pregnant rats sometimes do that. And she was chillin with Lovette, who prefers the igloo anyway. There was some difficulty breathing, a thick reddish discharge around her eyes and nostrils (which I thought was blood from a very bad fight), and severe lethargy.

Carried her all the way to the store (put her in my bag once we got in there) so I could give her some pedialyte as soon as I had it- and as I'm getting the syringe close to her face, she was gone. Last week my favorite mouse died in my hands, and now my favorite rat. So I rush home and check Lovette- sure enough, she's sick too, but she was fat enough that she isn't all skin and bones just yet. So now I'm force feeding her pedialyte, which she likes, and I'm giving her fatty, high protein foods. I hope she doesn't get as severe a case as Joanna. The nearest Emergency Vet is NOT anywhere near me, and my vets are closed on weekends, and I have no money.

My awesome day turned to crap very quickkly.
7:29 pm
I hate dieting. It's math for my stomach. :(
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010
7:03 pm
Friday, July 16th, 2010
12:55 am
I've already trained Dinar to eat food out of my mouth. I just wish he'd sit still long enough to get his photo taken, haha.
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
3:24 pm
OMG I just adopted the CUTEST dumbo rat EVER. :DDD Since I have an obsession with all things foreign, I thought about naming him and other future rats "Hello" in different languages. Like "Annyong" and "Tag" and "Hola" and such, but then I decided to name him (them?) after money! Much cuter names.

His name is Dinar- loads of pictures to come. :)
Friday, July 9th, 2010
8:50 pm
My mom and my older brother are coming to visit this weekend! :D

Ben is in the JET program and leaves for Japan on the 20th, I think. He's got a two year contract, and I am so jealous! He'd better send me awesome gifts. :-P I'm just glad I get to see him before he goes--because he doesn't plan on coming back. :-\ But if I get a job in Korea, I'll go visit him on my vacation days!
Friday, June 25th, 2010
1:33 am
My roommate is the worst human alive.

-She is naked. All the time. She is crazy feminist and shaves nothing. Her leg hair has split ends.
-We got in an arguement over why she has never seen me naked.
-She brings girls over who look like my grandfather. No, you read that right. Very butch women who are twenty years her senior. They look like my grandfather.
-She has loud, obnoxious, horrific sounding sex that is heard in every part of the house. At the most random times of the day. Like 2pm. And 9am. Her lady friend is actually having an orgasm right now and it sounds like someone mutated a cow/dog/goat and is running it over with a lawnmower. I think I just heard them knocking over the nightstand.
-How am I supposed to go to sleep with that noise in the background????????????????? I work in the morning!
-She says she can't move out when the lease is up because she can't find anything cheaper.
-This place is only cheap because she doesn't pay her bills. She owes me $150 in her share of bills. She hasn't paid me a dime in over a month. And when she did pay, it was $50 out of the $120 she owed me then.
-She "clean" by getting naked, putting bleach on everything, she hiding all traces of me living there. I have lived here 4 years, and she has taken over ever shelf in my living room with HER things. She even took down my ONLY family portrait to put up a photoshopped picture of her and Christina Aguilera. Like, if I ate a popcicle and left the stick by the sink, she would put it on my desk. Like, go INTO MY ROOM. To hide GARBAGE. Because it's mine. Garbage goes in the garbage can.
-Which is a concept she doesn't understand. She does not know how to take out the trash. It sits in the kitchen and overflows and so she leaves her trash on the counter or on the floor. I was in Missouri for a week and she did not once do a dish or take a single piece of garbage to the dumpster. Which is right next to where she parks her scooter. Which she uses every day. It's not out of her way.

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

So I just cranked up music to full blast to cover their nasty noises. Hopefully my Miley Cyrus/3Oh!3/Wonder Girls mix can give them a hint to SHUT THE HELL UP.

Tomorrow when I leave for work, I'm going to flip all the circuit breakers. If she won't pay for bills, she can't use the utilities.
Friday, June 4th, 2010
1:45 pm
Two words that I had noped to never see together when describing my future plans.

Root. Canal. ._____.
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
7:01 pm
Today, as an afterthought to a convesation, I said, "Your mom" to a co-worker, who in return said, "What about my mother?" Going for a killer joke, I said, "She's a good lay- can I get her number?" He then pulled out his phone, CALLED his mother, put her on speaker phone, and said, "Mel here thinks you're hot and wants to have sex with you."

...

EXCUSE ME?? So I started yelling, "You don't tell those things to people!!" And his mother was like, "I'm flattered, really, but I just went through a divorce."

I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.
Friday, May 21st, 2010
4:04 pm
I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life. And it disturbs me greatly. I mean, in a year I'll finish my degree (Linguistics with a TESOL certification), and with that I can teach English in foreign countries. Depending on the state, with a few more classes and a fee, I can teach ESL state-side. That sounds grand and that's not the part that really troubles me about my life.

What is getting me is the whole family/partner/children/emotional/personal aspect. I mean, I want children. In vitro is expensive, but so is adoption. As a lesbian, I can't just go get knocked up. Doesn't work like that, kids. I'd like to adopt- siblings, toddlers to teenagers- but I also would love to carry a child to term (I think I would be a crazy cute pregnant lady). I guess I could do both...

But as clearly as I can see myself having kids, I can't see myself with anyone. I no longer see a partner with whom I grow old. I don't have that desire anymore. So... I want to be a single parent? Is that because I went through such a terrible break up just recently? Or is it because I'm ashamed of being gay, so I don't want to act on it? Do I subconsciously feel that it's better to be alone than to be with someone who might hurt me? than to let my extended family know that I'm a lesbian?

I really could go the rest of my life without sex. No problem. But I could not go the rest of my life without feeling that kind of love and being kissed. Sigh. I try to take it one day at a time, but it gets hard when I see everyone around me happy and I'm just.... blah.
Thursday, April 29th, 2010
2:02 am
Playing World of Warcraft drunk is a:

A) Good Idea
B) Bad Idea
C) No one really cares because it's WoW and that means you have no life/friends/self-respect
D) It's 2am.... go to bed
Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
10:14 am
My girlfriend of eight months dumped me last night. I've gone through an entire package of toilet paper blowing my nose and wiping my eyes. She was the only thing that made me happy and now I'm all alone. I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like I either need to drop out of school and move back in with my folks, or kill myself.

Someone help me find something that makes me happy. If I can just have that, I think I'll be okay.
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